“Rain Soaked Tuesday” by Richard F. Yates

Dear Internet,

As the Northwest spring pendulums away from “sunny and 80” and back to “wet and 59,” I sit at the kitchen table typing into a machine. Haven’t painted anything for a few weeks, but I have done a bunch of (way too many?) digital drawings. Haven’t told many stories lately, but I’ve been reading a lot. Hours got cut back at work, so I’ve got a bit more free time—but no money to do anything.

I think (as one of my drawings from this morning suggested) I’ve got the Reptile Blues. (Cold blooded.)

Trying to find extra employment, help the younger daughter with homework for her Running Start classes, keep up with the housework, mend some falling apart clothes, plan for a wedding (that I’m DJing for a cousin), and not drop into a mega-funk… It can be hard work.

So, to help alleviate my troubles, I’ve decided to try to summon a pack of “Helper Demons.” I don’t have any live chickens to behead, but we’ve got a several day old bucket of fast food chicken leftovers in the fridge that I hope will work. I’m also hoping that cheap, red, acrylic paint will work in place of blood for the circles on the floor, and it will be easy to steal a bunch of Mariah’s candles (although the summoning is going to smell like “warm vanilla sugar.”)

Or maybe, instead of summoning a bunch of demons to help do the housework, I should just sell my soul* for enough money to hire a housekeeper! (“Why not sell your soul for a million dollars?” I hear you ask. Well, I’m not sure what my rotten soul would be worth. I might not even get enough in trade to by a roll of paper-towels.)

And, there ya go. I’ve complained about being cold, wet, and broke, and I’ve talked about evil. I feel a little better, but I’m still cold… Maybe I’ll go have a bite of that chicken—or some cinnamon toast. Yeah, whatever. (Most likely, I’ll just draw a bunch more monsters and call it good…)

—Richard F. Yates

[*P.S. – I don’t actually believe in souls. The current scientific consensus is that consciousness arises as a result of the physical functioning of the body, including the brain, nervous system, and sensory organs, and there is currently ZERO evidence for the existence of a non-corporeal element to human consciousness, as all of the elements of personality and cognition occur within and because of the the body itself. No body, no personality, no YOU! Ghosts, in my opinion, are ENTIRELY a function of the human brain.]

About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
This entry was posted in being poor, biography, cinnamon toast, cognitive science, complaining, selling your soul, summoning demons, wet and rainy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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