“Call the Police!” by Richard F. Yates (and Mariah Yates AND Frankie Yates)

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “Ellie burped and it sounded gross!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “That raccoon on the back deck just gave me the finger!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “I spilled soda all over my new pants!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “Ellie won’t eat the sandwich I just bought her from the sub shop!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “I have never seen a U.F.O.!!!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “Because the stupid cat keeps smacking my foot while I’m trying to type!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “I can’t remember…”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “A bird just dive-bombed the living-room window again!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “The kitchen table is all wobbly!”

Richard: “Mariah, quick! Call the police!”
Mariah: “Why?”
Richard: “Because the police were just here and told me I had to stop calling them!”

—Richard F. Yates

[This is (sort of) what it’s like to live with me. (You should all feel sorry for Mariah Yates and Elise Colleen Yates, and a long time ago, Frankie Yates…) —Richard F. Yates]

[My life…. —Mariah Yates]

[Seems pretty acurate to me. smile emoticon —Frankie Yates]

[You’re grounded… —Richard F. Yates]

About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
This entry was posted in biography, humor, non-jokes, repetition and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to “Call the Police!” by Richard F. Yates (and Mariah Yates AND Frankie Yates)

  1. charlypriest says:

    Thank´s for the morning laugh

  2. Heather says:

    Genius 😀

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