“Spider Squirrel” by Randy Long

[Editor’s Note: Randy Long is BAAAAAACK! Finally, after a far too lengthy wait, we get another chapter in Randy Long’s MUTANT SQUIRREL saga, which began in the thrilling tale “The Day of the Squirrel” and continued in “Einstein’s Revenge.” If you haven’t read either of those adventures, you are seriously missing out! Regardless, proceed with caution back into the crazy world of Randy Long!!!]

Spider Squirrel! The last of the Original mutant squirrels. Not that there is or is not any other mutant squirrels, but this is the last of the original mutant squirrels. Spider Squirrel’s motto is, “It’s a tangled web we weave.”

We all know that Einstein went crazy because of the toxic waste. It appears the only one that didn’t is Spider Squirrel, of LongPew. Spider Squirrel keeps teaching other squirrels how to steal from the humans and chew wires in cars and trucks, and for some reason they destroy all cardboard by chewing every box in sight.

Spider Squirrel mated with a flying squirrel and had baby flying spider squirrels. The baby squirrels have twice the legs and a flap of skin that stretches between each leg, like webbed feet. Their tale is like a rudder. They scurry about faster than regular squirrels and can glide from tree to tree. As Spider Squirrel’s family grows, the other squirrels get jealous. They can’t scurry around as fast or glide from tree to tree like the spider squirrels can.

The mutated Spider Squirrel’s D.N.A. changed his molecular structure, growing four extra legs, coming out of his back, and when mating with a flying squirrel, the babies were changed to also have eight legs and skin flaps, making fast flying squirrels, called “Fast Flyers.”

The Fast Flyers were the new breed of squirrels.

The spider squirrels could weave a web, and did, too. They caught birds of prey, like owls and hawks, so they wouldn’t get ate. The squirrels would weave a web between the tree branches, from tree to tree. The spider squirrels population began to grow.

Soon, the colony became too large for the woods near by. They started expanding and spreading out, further and further away, ever growing in population. At first, no one seen then spider squirrels, but as they expanded, so did the sightings. More and more people saw the spider squirrels. Even wildlife researchers from Fish-N-Wildlife came to the small town called LongPew, a town in Washington. They came to study the spider squirrels.

A new species of squirrel, LongPew was the only place for the spider squirrels to be seen, but the spider squirrels were multiplying at an alarming rate.

They would eat almost anything, and the birds of prey were reducing in numbers in LongPew. The Fish-N-Wildlife knew at this rate they were going to have to do something about the squirrels. The owls and hawks and other birds took care of other rodents and kept the bat population down, but with spider squirrels trapping the birds in webs, they weren’t able to keep the rodents’ population down. The Fish-N-Wildlife started trapping the squirrels for experimenting, to keep them from over-running the town.

The spider squirrels couldn’t actually fly, but they could glide for a long time. They would jump, spread their arms and legs, and the skin between their arms and legs would allow them to glide long distances, and they would throw a string of webbing out and ketch a limb and pull their-self to it. The spider squirrel is not an aggressive animal but can be very allusive, and is much faster than a regular squirrel, and smarter. The only time a spider squirrel would go after a large bird is when it was trying to EAT them, the bird was trying, that is. Then the spider squirrel, defending itself, would weave a web to hold the bird in place. Yes, the bird would eventually starve, being trapped in the web.

The Fish-N-Wildlife tried to insert sterile squirrels back into the population, but that didn’t stop the original pod of squirrels because they kept to their selfs. But it did slow down the population growth, and after all, that’s what they wanted to do in the first place. For now, the spider squirrels haven’t expanded out of LongPew, but they are slowly growing in numbers.

And maybe someday soon?

—Randy Long

About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
This entry was posted in adventure, horror, humor, monsters, squirrels, stories and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to “Spider Squirrel” by Randy Long

  1. Heather says:

    This should be the next Syfy channel movie…way better than Sharknado 🙂

  2. I borrowed a live trap from a friend and caught three of the furry little bastards leaving nut shells all over my yard. Now, they are enjoying someone else’s yard.

  3. Pingback: “The Mighty Have Fallen” by Randy Long | The Primitive Entertainment Workshop

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s