In our modern age of constant bombardment by media and news, it is important to be able to spot fake news and stop it in its tracks! Here is a handy “how-to” for spotting fake news:
1. Does the story say something that you already believe or that you really WANT to believe? It’s probably fine then. Go ahead and believe it.
2. Is the story being told to you by someone you really like, such as a famous actor or musician? If you like them, there’s no way they could be wrong, so go ahead and believe that one, too.
3. Does the story say something that you don’t want to hear or that challenges your fundamental beliefs? FAKE NEWS! Never believe a story that says something you aren’t comfortable with, regardless of the “evidence” (aka: LIES) that the person telling the story is trying to cram down your throat! You KNOW what’s going on, and don’t ever let those stupid “academics” or “witnesses” or “people who would actually understand” tell YOU what’s up—they’re just trying to fool you. It’s all FAKE NEWS!
4. Don’t worry about it! Go back to sleep. We’ve got this taken care of, and it’s all for YOUR BENEFIT! Sweet dreams!