Evil Neon Chicken causes quite a fuss. He has the audacity to look interesting AND wants to have opinions of his own—even if they clearly contradict ours. (The nerve!)
Evil Neon Chicken often consorts with ALL KINDS of undesirables—with snakes and monsters and ghosts and other people who act SO WEIRD… No one wants THOSE TYPES around here, and if Evil Neon Chicken keeps encouraging them, they’re never going to leave!
Evil Neon Chicken is a menace. He never observes our most sacred social norms! He doesn’t judge others by the way they look or by how they dress or by what they own!? (How else can you REALLY get to know someone???) He never puts on peacock robes and struts to the Big House for Skoozle Nights, either. (Further proof that he is EVIL—if his name wasn’t proof enough.) Some of us even heard him say, at least once, that he doesn’t think our country has the best Wig Shops in the world, which is patently insane!
Evil Neon Chicken needs to go back to wherever he came from!
What’s that? You say he was born HERE!? That’s ridiculous… If he was born here, he’d look and talk and think and act like US! You must be wrong…
AND I even heard (so it must be true) that Evil Neon Chicken is trying to TAKE OVER and make us all into slaves and make us follow his freaky DISCO religion—and once we’re all slaved-up and disco dancing, he’s going to KILL us and eat us for breakfast! That’s what I heard on Hedgehog News, and they’re the only news source that always tells the truth!
—Richard F. Yates
[P.S. – The image above is a digital drawing over a photograph of a donut box. AND, the part about Evil Neon Chicken eating people MIGHT be true. He is, after all, a monster AND evil…]
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