Category Archives: church of dim

PEACE Finally Comes to the Church of DIM!

It is with great joy that I announce that a truce has been brokered in the historic war between Brothers Yates and Erdahl! Here’s how it happened: Despite my objections, Sister Mariah, from the DIM Poughkeepsie branch, was again called … Continue reading

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DIM Battle Confession from Brother O’Brien

As fellow Dimmers, you know that one of our core practices is the confession of sins. Unlike Catholicism, however, our reasoning is a tad different. Here at DIM, we think sinning is the bee’s knees and encourage the frequent commitment … Continue reading

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“World War DIM!” by Brother O’Brien

It is with great disappointment that I report that the level of discourse in the Yates/Erdahl battle has sunk to a new low, wherein both have resorted to the nastiest, most offensive, sickening, sexist epithets in name-calling: it seems that … Continue reading

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“DIM’s Internal War Continues!” by Brother O’Brien

Unfortunately, the chaotic conflict (and alliteration) have only increased at the raddest of religions. It is with even more sadness that I report that someone co-opted my turkey sub from the mini-fridge at our house of worship (Pauly’s Dental and … Continue reading

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“The Great Fleecing!” by Brother Yates

Let’s not beat around the bush here (for that is how we incur the wrath of SNAKE, who is usually sleeping in the bush and doesn’t want to be beaten.) We all know what the great FLEECING vs. SHEARING debate … Continue reading

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“Civil War in the Church of DIM!”

Brother O’Brien here. Look, I get no pleasure from discussing this internal, sensitive matter, but I feel that the Church of DIM must be transparent (also hollow, vacuous, inane, and vapid). It is with sadness that I report that Brothers … Continue reading

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“Mother Protozoa (Praise Be) Sets the Record Straight on Easter” by Brother O’Brien

There are many things that we believe as children that later turn out not to be true, like Santa Claus or internet privacy, but today I want to talk to you about Easter: sure, we now know that Christianity hijacked … Continue reading

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“The Church of DIM Predicted It!!!” by Brother O’Brien

As you well know, the Church of DIM is your one-stop-shoppe for P&P: Prophecies and Prophylactics; therefore, we take great pride in pointing out that only a week ago we at the Church of DIM predicted that our current “president” … Continue reading

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“Mother Protozoa Wants to Help You!” by Brother O’Brien

Mother Protozoa wants to help you! As you know, Mother Protozoa (MP) has predicted the end of Earth’s civilization on next Tuesday. Keep in mind that in spiritual time, “next Tuesday” might mean next Tuesday or 4 trillion years from … Continue reading

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A Divine Message from Mother Protozoa!

Last night, Mother Protozoa came to me in a dream and spoke. She mostly talked about how disappointed She was in me, generally, as a human being and an entitled loser (that took like 20 minutes), BUT She also revealed … Continue reading

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