Category Archives: church of dim

“The Church of DIM Predicted It!!!” by Brother O’Brien

As you well know, the Church of DIM is your one-stop-shoppe for P&P: Prophecies and Prophylactics; therefore, we take great pride in pointing out that only a week ago we at the Church of DIM predicted that our current “president” … Continue reading

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“Mother Protozoa Wants to Help You!” by Brother O’Brien

Mother Protozoa wants to help you! As you know, Mother Protozoa (MP) has predicted the end of Earth’s civilization on next Tuesday. Keep in mind that in spiritual time, “next Tuesday” might mean next Tuesday or 4 trillion years from … Continue reading

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A Divine Message from Mother Protozoa!

Last night, Mother Protozoa came to me in a dream and spoke. She mostly talked about how disappointed She was in me, generally, as a human being and an entitled loser (that took like 20 minutes), BUT She also revealed … Continue reading

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“The Gospel according to Yolkoltak the Pretnetious” as Transcribed by Josh Erdahl

(The following is a recently discovered un-edited version of one of the most holy sections of the DIM holy book. Much controversy has stemmed from this text, and many conclude because it was discovered in an email in a DOCx … Continue reading

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Chapter Two – The Book of “Progress”

1.      The origin of Snake is of great importance. 2.      In the beginning, Snake was hardly recognizable: he was bipedal, clothed in the finest linens, and was extremely successful in the business of dinosaur extinction. 3.  … Continue reading

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“St. Nonsensicus Day!” by Richard F. Yates

I declare today St. Nonsensicus Day! To pay homage to the saint of nonsensicalness and bizarrity, you should think weird thoughts, say weird things, and act like a complete nut-job all day and BASK in Nonsensicus’s cleansing strangeness. Reject seriocity!!!!! … Continue reading

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“Revelation” by Richard F. Yates

Revelation burned by eyes and crimped my hair but left my fingernails alone —Richard F. Yates

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