Category Archives: worst first lines

“Worst First Lines (5)” by Richard O’Brien

“Flibberdeegibbet,” he hungrily chastised. —Richard O’Brien

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“Worst First Lines (4)” by Richard O’Brien

“RRRrrrriiiippppp,” he farted, then got up, straightened the vertical crease on his non-existent pants, then sat back down on a chair that looked like a giant hand – “Nope,” he said out loud, “they can find another ham-fisted hero for … Continue reading

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“Worst First Lines (3)” by Richard O’Brien

He could swear the cat was saying, “Matriarchal madness means no mercy on melonball Monday” in its purrs – but omg, today is Monday y’all! —Richard O’Brien

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“Worst First Lines (2)” by Richard O’Brien

A sizzling pork fajita was all that separated the two Tibetan monks, minutes before the t-shirted thugs would crash through the beaded curtains of the illegitimate massage parlor, demanding either money or a reasonable substitute (nothing perishable). —Richard O’Brien

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“Worst First Lines (1)” by Richard O’Brien

Light flickered through the kelp sorbet’s waffle cone, like a fairy’s twinkle, teasing him with the obvious intent of seducing a weak Costco cashier, drunk on loneliness, with her fairy wiles. —Richard O’Brien

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