“The Floating Cow” by Dr. Ugg (The Educated Caveman)

The cow floated approximately six feet off the ground, chewing absently and apparently unconcerned as it progressed down Henson Street.

“Damn it, Bessie! Get your ass back to the barn,” Jed yelled, then spit a gooey mass of brown liquid into the gutter.

The cow rolled its huge eyes toward the farmer, gave a low mewling grunt, then continued floating toward the edge of town.

Three weeks later, Jed received a postcard of the world’s largest ball of twine that was signed, cryptically, with the word:

“Moo.”

—Dr. Ugg (The Educated Caveman)

[“Dr. Ugg (The Educated Caveman)” is, of course, one of my many pseudonyms. I love making up fake names. This story was originally published 15 Oct. 2012 at The Very Very Very Short Stories blog, but before THAT it was one of six stories in the extremely limited print run micro-zine called LIGHTNING STRIKES produced by the Writing Center staff at WSU@Vancouver! —RFY]

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“Ready for the World…” by Richard F. Yates

—Richard F. Yates

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“Self Portrait (Waiting)” by Richard F. Yates

—Richard F. Yates

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“Coyote is on the Move!” by Richard F. Yates

—Richard F. Yates

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“It Might be True! (But It’s Probably Not)” by Richard F. Yates

—Richard F. Yates

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“Vacation Ideas” by Charlie Centipede

vacation
Thinking about going on vacation, maybe taking a cruise. Does anyone know where this lovely drawing was supposed to have taken place? Looks like an interesting time!

—Charlie Centipede

[Image taken from UNSOLVED MYSTERIES (2016) by Joel Levy, p. 91.]

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“Bit of a Brag” by Richard F. Yates

I consider myself a slow reader. I’m recursive, sometimes having to go back and read entire paragraphs over to make sure I catch the meaning. I read in fits and starts. Half an hour here, hour there, from 2:00 A.M. until 3:00 or 3:30 A.M., depending on the whims of the Insomnia Ghost. And I’m usually reading four or five different books at a time—to help confuse things as much as possible.

However, since I started my “Read a Damn Book” review project—the first post was a Calvin & Hobbes collection published 19 Feb. 2017—I’ve read and reviewed TWENTY-SIX books! In just a little over two months…

At this rate, I figure I’ll be completely blind by the time I’m 50 from the eye strain.

Hooray!!!

—Richard F. Yates

P.S. – Maybe I’ll make a Links page that lists all the books I’ve reviewed and stick a button for it up by the banner next to the “Primitive Image Emporium” and “Postcards from Paradise.” The ever expanding possibilities!!!

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