Life? Love? Lust? Limp? Lark? Loot? Late? Loon? Lamp? Lump? Legs?
What should we celebrate? I’m eating a brownie (the chocolate kind, not the “special” variety—I’m too poor to afford FANCY brownies), and I’m wondering why these aren’t considered health foods. Tastes, to me, like it’s making my body much much happier! (Than it was without a brownie…)
BROWNIES FOR PRESIDENT!!! (Screw Snake…)
It’s beginning to get dark out the back window, and in addition (but in only a very peripheral sense connected) I saw a raccoon attack one of our cats today in a desperate, day-time battle for dry cat food. (Not a joke really…) Sad for the starving raccoon, but not very cool for the poor cat that lost some fur and a bunch of self respect. It will no doubt turn to booze now to drown its shame.
What a great brownie. Celebration of Brownie! (Doesn’t fit with the “L” in the title, but that’s okay. We’re free-wheelin’ here!)
One thing I really don’t celebrate: caffeine withdrawal headaches. I tend to hit the blended drinks pretty hard for a while, then I go broke and can’t afford the luxury anymore. After a day or two, my head turns to shit and my eyes start to feel like I’ve got them stuck in an invisible taffy-pulling machine (like they used to have at the county fair when I was young. I really loved going to the fair back then. They would sell fancy crap like bouquets of fiber-optic flowers that flashed different colors, and have a machine that supposedly could identify a person’s “bio-rhythms” (horse shit), and fudge, and a rootin’ tootin’ rodeo, and a bunch of rides (most of which I was too chicken to ride on—because I get motion sickness pretty easily. I’ve thrown up after more than one ride…) and all that kind of garbage, and back then I thought all that stuff was great, but now I’m old and think it’s too expensive. And kind of boring—except the fiber-optic flowers. I still like those.) And that’s why I probably shouldn’t drink blended coffees anymore.
I really need to make some money. I think my family would be happier if we were millionaires.
—Richard F. Yates
[Luge…. Because I think that’s the facial expression I’d have if I tried riding a luge.
[I should add that to the list… —Richard F. Yates]
[Lard? Lynx? Lost? Lush? Could there be an “All of the above”? —Michael King]
[Probably should be… (I’ll have to check with management…) —Richard F. Yates]
[I can submit a letter of recommendation, if you think that would help… —Michael King]